I’m pleased to introduce Max to A Mindful Migration. You might say he’s the cat’s meow and excited to guest post today.
Hi ya, everyone! It’s me, Max. You can call me Mighty Max, MaxE, The Max Man, Sir Snoops a Lot, Mr Pepper or Chief Mischief Maker. I have lots of nicknames because I am the coolest cat! I am also now the angriest cat. Grumpy cat ain’t got nothing on me because I am so mad right now. I hate Halloween.
Normally, I am California cool. Laid back. Mellow. Chilled out. Or at least I am when I’m not making mischief. But when Mama forces me into a stupid costume, I turn into Mad Max and sadly for Mama, not that handsome Tom Hardy version but one pissed off kitty.
Look. At. Me. I am wearing a cowboy hat. And a scarf. I’m just glad the stupid costume didn’t come with boots.
Seriously, I look stupid. And I’m a cool cat! Paw swear!
But how am I supposed to be cool when Mama dresses me up like this? It’s impossible!
Sure, sure Mama goes on and on about how handsome I look in my cowboy hat and scarf and it’s true that it’s extremely difficult for me to look un-handsome.
I am a feline after all. We are notoriously good looking!
And very, very, very humble.
But still. I look dumb. I don’t need no stupid hat or scarf to know that I’m the Sheriff of this apartment. Mama does what Max meows. I meow feed me. She does. I meow pet me. She does. I meow play with me. She does.
Mama knows that I’m boss. The Max Man needs no stupid cowboy hat to know he’s the sheriff of all 600 square feet of TanyaLand.
It’s just a fact.
Just like it’s a fact that doggies are to blame for these stupid Halloween costumes. I mean how many doggies have you seen prancing around in their sweaters and skirts when you see their human pets walking them? Like all of them. Lame. Pathetic. Dumb.
Cats are just too cool to roll with clothes. I mean I look perfect without them.
And I look stupid in them.
So dumb. And I gave Mama an earful too!
Anyway, the only good thing to come out of this stupid costume is that Mama gave me extra treats. Sure, I had to “pose” for pictures and endure all her annoying coos and what not. But at least there was some form of payment. Sometimes she just makes me wear clothes for her amusement and my humilation.
Anyway, I’m exhausted. It’s very tiring being so righteously angry and I now need a nap. Afterwards I’m getting into mischief. Lots and lots of mischief because a cat never forgets. Never forgives. Ever.
P.S. Please don’t make your felines where stupid Halloween costumes like me. But if you have a doggie, the more humiliating the costume — the better! Happy Halloween!