Soooooo … awkward. I meant to write. Two weeks ago. Last month. And I most certainly intended to write on my birthday as it’s been my tradition for the past few years to write reflections/lessons but … you know. I felt lazy, okay. A little uninspired. Super unmotivated. Plus, it was my birthday and the birthday girl (or old lady) gets to do whatever she pleases. So yeah, I’m late for my own birthday but that’s cool; I forgive me.
Since the thought of trying to write ….. FORTY-SIX LESSONS ….. makes me both want to take a nap and weep (I mean when did I become old?), I’m not attempting to write that many life lessons today. We are just going to be pleased as punch that I am here, on my blog. But in case you’re interested, here are few that I did manage to write (obviously skipped 2020 because it does not count). There are some actual pearls of wisdom too.
- Lessons Learned in My 41 Years
- 42 Reflections (aka 1 More than Last Year
- I Got 44 Reflections but a Cat Complaint Ain’t One
And yes, I skipped my 43rd year as well. 🙂
Another Year Older
I am a Pinterest fanatic because it’s generally a happy place or at least in my feed. Lots of recipes, cats pics and well, lately … a lot of beauty tips for aging women. Those eye crinkles have made an unwanted appearance and I don’t like ’em. At all.
I don’t think I necessarily look 46 years YOUNG (too lazy to take a selfie — are we sensing a theme here?). Anyway, I’m referring to myself as young now because I’m being positive … but my body feels 46 years OLD. Achy knees. Check. Who knew that a person could actually sit too long and almost tip over trying to get up? Yikes!
This is true. And a little pathetic.
This made me laugh but now my body aches from laughing. Getting old ain’t for the weak.
My Birthday Lesson this Year
Regardless of my many old lady ailments, I still did want to share a lesson and turned to Pinterest where I save a ton of quotes/truths. Many struck a chord with me but this is one that I’m taking to heart for 2021.
I have struggled with this in various ways throughout my life. The when I weigh XYZ, I’ll put myself out “on the market” so to speak. As if I’m only worthy of finding someone or being loved if I weigh a certain amount. Or I’ll be happy when I’m here or there or doing this. And yes, I am temporarily happier when I achieve whatever I think will make me happier. Eventually, though, I still have to deal with the fact that it’s less about my current destination/reality that’s making me unhappy and more with what’s going on internally.
The weird thing to me is that many of the things that do make me unhappy, like my weight, I have control over. No one forces me to eat poorly or overeat or avoid exercise (although I have been doing better here). It is my choice and often a deliberate one. Sometimes it’s self sabotage and sometimes not. I’m just trying to be more in the present and conscious about the choices I make. To be gentle and firm because I need to be both with myself right now.
To know that I deserve happiness and it starts and ends with me, not where I live, or where I work or whom I love. To remember that happiness isn’t a 24/7 emotion either. It comes and goes and that’s okay and normal. If life was a constant 10+, then no moment is special. Happiness is contentment and peace and it is within my reach.
Any advice for this ‘ol birthday gal?
Tanya
P.S. I won’t pinky swear on this but I’m hoping to share a delicious recipe next week!
Happy Belated Birthday, friend! I completely understand what you’re saying about destination addiction. Having goals and working toward goals is absolutely fantastic… but if you’re not able to find happiness and joy exactly where you are, that’s a problem. (Unless you’re in some serious sh*t- abusive situations, heavy illness, job loss, etc.)