I wasn’t going to post today, even though Thursday is my post day. I woke up in a bad mood on Wednesday for no good reason. Nothing bad happened. I had not watched or read the news, so beyond my normal general irritation with Emperor Baby Fists, I wasn’t in hulk-mode yet. But I felt off. Quietly blue and a little sad. With zero energy or interest in writing a post.
And yet here I am.
Because underneath this layer of malaise was the truth. This will pass IF I allow it. It will pass sooner if I do something. It will stick around if I do nothing.
This is me doing something.
4 Easy Ways to Go From Sad to Glad
I want to be clear that I am not talking about depression sad, which is different and more complex, instead I’m talking about the good ‘ol blues. These are the steps that I took to get out of my funk and find my way back to me.
1. Recognize You Had a Nightmare
This is what helped me decide to do something instead of wallowing in my grumpiness. A few months back, I shared with you a very personal dream where I realized how my mind was bullying me when I was at my most vulnerable — fast asleep and in dream land. I strongly suspect this is the root cause of my bad mood yesterday, because I had been feeling really strong and positive lately.
While I don’t recall the dream, my imagination is vivid and my mind can be a real asshat. Just recognizing the likelihood of a nightmare feeding me terrible lies about myself brought me great relief. My mind was testing me and she should have known that I ace all my tests. Bitch, please. Ain’t got time for your games.
2. Go to Gratitude
Gratitude is my go-to but when I am in a funk (and need it more than ever), is also when I am the most resistant to go there. But persist, I did. 😀
10 Things I am Grateful for …
This is my list from yesterday.
- The warm weather (73 degrees!) and beautiful blue skies
- Flip-flops because my toes demand freedom!
- The coolest cat in the world loves me. Yes, he does.
- Show Us Your Books on Tuesday and so many awesome book ladies
- Working on a new client website
- My amazing, supportive family and friends
- Living in the greatest country world
- The yummy chicken pasta dish I made last night with leftovers tonight! Nom! Nom!
- Diet coke. Coffee. Sparkling Juice. Fresh water.
- Alive. Free. Blessed. And Strong.
I inhale the goodness and exhale what doesn’t serve me. Inhale. Exhale.
3. Pick One Thing to Do that Makes You Feel Good
I picked three because that’s how I roll as an over-achiever. My three choices were snuggles with the Max Man, admiring all my cat pins (they are my happy place) and picking a new book to start last night. All things that make me happy and content. It’s hard for the blues to stick around when you’re full of goodness inside.
4. Lean In to Your Bad Mood
I don’t mean you should revel in it and use it to torture others or to gain sympathy by playing the victim. But to be okay with being in a funk or having an off day because they happen. It doesn’t mean you failed somehow. Women, in particular, have been taught by society that we must present a happy face 24/7 and that’s a big, fat lie. Nobody is happy 24/7. We can CHOOSE to be quiet and not shout our unhappiness to world because that is our personal right to be private. But we are allowed to be unhappy or anything besides happy.
So I remind myself that my crankiness is okay as long as I’m not stupid with it. In other words, I avoid shopping because as an emotional shopper, I will spend money on dumb things to temporarily make myself feel better or buy bad-for-me food because I deserve it. I also avoid making big, life changing decisions when I’m in a not-so great place because the best Tanya is the one who makes decisions, not the cranky or the weak Tanya.
But it’s okay to feel blue or off or sad on occasion. It doesn’t mean I’m broken.
Tomorrow is a New Day
Scarlett O’Hara was right: Tomorrow is a new day. I bet my off day will be in the rearview window of life come tomorrow (or technically today). And if for some strange reason it’s not, then that’s cool too. I’ll just start over at #1: You had a nightmare that messed with your head and keep on going because I’m no quitter.
How do you get rid of the blues?
Tanya
I often suffer from sudden onset of the sadness. Sometimes I can identify what is making me happy and others…not so much. I love your list of how to try to bounce back. One thing I do is people watch. It’s really hard to be unhappy when you see people laughing and having fun together-at least for that moment. Also your 4th point-it’s okay to be kind to yourself. And sometimes that means not doing the things you “should” do and practicing some self care until the feeling passes.
Yeah, sometimes it is really obvious what is making us sad and other times not so much. When I can’t find an obvious source, that’s when I lean towards I had a bad nightmare where my mind bullied me. People watching is a good addition! Self-care is so important and hard at times, but necessary.
i workout a lot so that doesn’t give my body much time for the blues. In fact, I workout as often as I do to keep my depression under control. I find that when I don’t exercise regularly, I get annoyed/irritated really fast and no one likes that LOL
Exercise really does make a huge difference with mood. It is something I need to get better about doing on a consistent basis. I used to work with someone who we would tease on the very rare occurrences she missed a workout, because we could always tell. 😀
You always write such on point stuff. Always.
When I’m in a mood, my go-to is to just lean in to it. I know it’ll eventually pass but I feel worse when I try to fake it till I make it by pretending to be in a good mood. I own my feelings, whatever they may be. I do what I can to keep depression at bay but doing it 100% is an impossible feat.
Thanks, Jana! Appreciate your kind words! Faking it, which is what I used to do, is absolutely the worst thing to do. I wish I would’ve figured that out years ago. Because I don’t want to lash out at people, I do try to minimize my interaction with people (HEHEHE) but I’ve learned to accept and not be ashamed or embarrassed that some days I just feel sad or grumpy or off.
Gratitude is always a game changer.
For me, I need music to help a mood. It can make a world of difference – either helps me cry it out or better yet, DANCE it out 😉
It is a huge game-changer. I need to become more consistent with it because it does make a difference how I feel because sometimes I fall into the negative space where all I see is lack. Dance it out is an excellent cure! I also like to sing it out but don’t do that too much these days because I live in my apartment and sing highly off-key. 😀
Great post! I rarely try to fight bad moods. They don’t come along often, so I let them sit as they are and try to be kind to myself that day! Spend more time with my dogs, get lost in a book, paint my nails. And count my gratitudes before bed as always!
I used to fight bad mood and thought they were wrong for some reason. That whole idea of needing to be happy all the time, I guess, messed with my head a bit. Thankfully, I’m a little better now. Sometimes it takes me a few hours for me to realize what’s going on but then I turn to self-care and gratitude.
Awesome post, my friend! 🙂
Yes, leaning into the feeling definitely helps. Ignoring it, I find, seems to make the whole situation worse. Also, cat snuggles are the best!!!
Thanks, Mackenzie! Ignoring definitely makes it worse and something I used to do, unfortunately. Cat snuggles make my day! I can never get enough!
Yes! I like to think that most of the time I’m upbeat and carefree and kind, but I have off days when I’m just plan fussy. (And I have days at a time when I’m fighting with depression but they’re rare, thankfully. And like you said, depression is much more complex than cranky days.)
Some days I just look at K and say, “I’m fussy today” and he knows that means I’m probably going to hibernate in our room or the tub with a book and some wine. Or I might wander around Target. Or take one dog for a walk. Those are my typical coping methods, lol.
It’s awesome that you can just tell K it’s a “fussy” day and he knows what that means and what to do. That’s a sign of a great partner and relationship! I wish I could wander around Target, but I would leave with a cart of stuff I didn’t need. 😀
I think it’s so important to give ourselves permission to feel the feelings as opposed to always brushing it off. My go-to is movies and podcasts!
Agreed! We don’t have to be or pretend to be happy 24/7. Movies used to be a go-to for me but I find that if I’m in a real mood that they don’t distract me enough while reading more fully engages my mind.
i am ridiculously behind on blog reading, but i feel like i needed to read this post today so it works out well. i am letting my sad mood turn me into a bad mood lately and really really need to get out of it. i need to focus on gratitude and doing things that make me happy.
Hopefully the post helped a bit! I let sad moods turn into bad moods too, so you are not alone. Sometimes we have to let emotions run their course without guilt. You’re sad and that’s okay. There is no shame in being sad. Allow yourself to be sand AND do things that also make you feel good. Gratitude is definitely a big one.