I want to be good at everything but not if it means that I’m good at nothing either. Because we’re not good at everything, no matter what those self-help gurus tell us. And we could spend hours and hours trying to master a skill to only marginally improve when we could have instead honed our natural talents and created new opportunities for ourselves. And let’s get real: sometimes we just suck at doing certain things too. Period. 😀
6 Things I Suck at Doing
I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you that I had the answers. Or knew it all. But I will promise you a laugh. Or at least a good smirk.
1. I Cannot Put Eyedrops in My Eyes
Seriously. I have eye phobia. I don’t like people touching my eyes. Nor putting things in or near my eyes. Visine. Contacts. Fake eyelashes. I will squirm. I may bite. And potentially kick. I will feel bad afterwards. But nobody, not even me, can put something in my eyes. This is normally not a huge issue in my day-to-day life but now that I am swimming regularly, it’s become a problem. I use up half a bottle of Visine to maybe get a dewdrop of the soothing elixir into my sore, red eyes.
2. I Cannot Parallel Park
I have never successfully parallel parked beyond doing it poorly enough to pass my driver’s test. One time I got into a screaming match (okay, more like very loud talking) with a friend who wanted me to parallel park in front of a restaurant. I knew I couldn’t do it; he insisted. And I was right. 😀
3. I Cannot Reach Most Top Shelves at Stores.
I am short. This bothers me when I have to hem petite pants and everything I want at the grocery store is on the top shelf. Seriously. This is rude. And it’s even ruder when people watch me struggle and don’t offer to help as I drop a can of whatnot on my head. I am always tempted to climb the shelves but fear holds me back. Fear of being the girl who topples over all the shelves. And fear of being the girl who gets smushed by all those shelves. Here lies Tanya who died trying to reach a can of chicken stock. That’s not a great epitaph.
4. I Cannot Dive
I enjoy swimming and consider myself to be a decent swimmer. Sure, Michael Phelps doesn’t lose sleep over me but seriously — who does he lose sleep over? But one thing I cannot do is dive. Mine tend to be more belly flop. I get how to dive in theory but when I try to do one, I sort just flop into the water. And don’t even expect me to try to dive from a diving board. It’s just a bigger flop and lots of tears because I don’t like heights.
5. I Cannot Ride Roller Coasters
Remember, I don’t like heights? Well, when I had just turned 14, my Church youth group went to Valley Fair (similar to Six Flags) and everyone pressured me to ride the very basic and tame roller coaster. Not the fancy ones with all the big loop-to-loops or that went upside down. This one was basic. Super, super basic. So after much teasing, I did it. I buried my head in my poor cousin’s armpit and wrapped both legs around one of her legs and gushed tears and snot all over her during the scariest 2-3 minutes of my young life. No one asked me to ride the roller coaster again. Ever.
6. I Cannot Not Pet a Cat
Sure, it’s a double negative but my blog. And it’s also true. I see a cat, I must pet it. You can tell me not to pet the cat. That your cat is mean and will hiss. Or bite. And scratch. To which I reply, “Challenge accepted!” And I will hunker down and attempt to make your cat love me because I believe all cats love me. I bear scars that suggest differently but I wear them with pride. And yes, I have successfully petted all cats, even when they really, really didn’t want me to pet them and let me know in the most loving and painful way possible that no means no, especially to a feline.
Okay, I told you mine, now you tell me what you cannot do well. Or at all.
Tanya
haha – I cant dive either. Every swimming class I took? I’m still a belly flopper.
I had to learn to parallel park when I was a teenager since my high school was downtown. I’m decent in it – but need a small car to really pull it off. You need one of those cars that do it automatically.
Trick on eye drops – ready for this – close your eyes, put the drop in the corner of your eye (inside corner) & just blink a lot… it seeps in your eyes . Dramatic free. Easy enough!
I’m a total belly flopper too! I have always driven small(ish) cars and still can’t master parallel parking. My next car will need to be one of those that can parallel park for you. And hopefully some day will drive for me too, so I can just chill out! LOL!
Thanks for the tip! I’ve always put the drop on my outer eye, which doesn’t work as well. I had to do it a couple of times but I managed to get more in my eyes without all the drama!
I can’t do rollercoasters anymore either because AGE. I used to LOVE them when I was younger/in my 20s and when I went to Universal Studios Hulk ride, I GOT SO SICK *cries*
My brother is that way. He can still ride roller coasters but some now bother me. Me, I could never do them!
I know lots of people who can’t parallel park! I got great at doing it even on a step hill in Seattle with a tight spot to get into! I can’t wink. I try but both eyes close. And I can only sort of manage to do it with my right eye. Can’t even fathom how to do it on the left. I can also only do a cartwheel with my left hand going down first. It’s strange.
Wow! I’m impressed! Parallel parking on a steep hill – that is impressive! I can’t parallel park but I can wink just fine. I can do a cartwheel, but I don’t know if I could do it left handed. To be fair, I’m not sure if I can still do a cartwheel. 😀
PS I LOOOOOOOOOVE roller coasters!
So much braver than me! 😉
I love roller coasters but age makes them harder to do now.
I’ve heard that happens to a lot of people. My brother loves roller coasters and the crazier the better but now some of them give him problems. Me, I love amusement and fair food! LOL!
Omg, hahaha! The eye one – I struggled to learn how to put contacts in BUT I have a friend who’s even worse. She can’t touch her own eyes and even gets weirded out when other people touch their eyes. So any time I so much as adjusted my contact, she would cringe. For the height thing – I’ve offered to get stuff down for people before when I can see them struggling, but my husband always says to be careful about that because people might be offended. I feel like that would just be ridiculous because there’s nothing subjective or insulting about, “Hey look, I’m literally a foot taller than you and I can reach that shelf.”
I had a very brief flirtation with contacts. It took me a long time to finally figure out how to get them in and out. They were never comfortable so I gave up on them pretty quickly. I’d love to do lasik but eyes. 😀 I imagine some people might be offended but height isn’t something I control, so it’s not an insult in my mind. The worst is when the only people around are short like me, so after I manage to finagle the can of whatever and drop it on my head, then someone tall comes into the aisle. LOL!
Lol. I can parrallel park but I don’t enjoy it so I avoid it at ALL costs.
I used to hate rollercoasters but one day a friend tricked me into riding an upside down one and I’ve never looked back. Lol
Well, you’re better than me because I can’t parallel park at all. At. All. 😀 That’s so funny that you used to hate them but now love them. That most definitely did not happen to me!
Ok, so obviously you and I have had conversations about parallel parking and how we just CAN’T DO IT!! 😀 I cannot parallel park to save my life, ugh…
I can’t dive either, lol. I can do eye drops but I stopped wearing contacts about 10 years ago because they would totally dry out my eyes and they were a pain in the you-know-what to take out. I literally thought I was going to damage my eye at some point! I just was like, I am done with this and went to wearing glasses full-time, and I’ve never looked back! 🙂
Parallel parking is my achilles heel and I avoid it all costs! Contacts are a huge pain. I only had them for about a year but it took forever to put them in and take them out. They were uncomfortable. And I’m lazy! Glasses are just so easy!