I want to be good at everything but not if it means that I’m good at nothing either. Because we’re not good at everything, no matter what those self-help gurus tell us. And we could spend hours and hours trying to master a skill to only marginally improve when we could have instead honed our natural talents and created new opportunities for ourselves. And let’s get real: sometimes we just suck at doing certain things too. Period. 😀
6 Things I Suck at Doing
I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you that I had the answers. Or knew it all. But I will promise you a laugh. Or at least a good smirk.
1. I Cannot Put Eyedrops in My Eyes
Seriously. I have eye phobia. I don’t like people touching my eyes. Nor putting things in or near my eyes. Visine. Contacts. Fake eyelashes. I will squirm. I may bite. And potentially kick. I will feel bad afterwards. But nobody, not even me, can put something in my eyes. This is normally not a huge issue in my day-to-day life but now that I am swimming regularly, it’s become a problem. I use up half a bottle of Visine to maybe get a dewdrop of the soothing elixir into my sore, red eyes.
2. I Cannot Parallel Park
I have never successfully parallel parked beyond doing it poorly enough to pass my driver’s test. One time I got into a screaming match (okay, more like very loud talking) with a friend who wanted me to parallel park in front of a restaurant. I knew I couldn’t do it; he insisted. And I was right. 😀
3. I Cannot Reach Most Top Shelves at Stores.
I am short. This bothers me when I have to hem petite pants and everything I want at the grocery store is on the top shelf. Seriously. This is rude. And it’s even ruder when people watch me struggle and don’t offer to help as I drop a can of whatnot on my head. I am always tempted to climb the shelves but fear holds me back. Fear of being the girl who topples over all the shelves. And fear of being the girl who gets smushed by all those shelves. Here lies Tanya who died trying to reach a can of chicken stock. That’s not a great epitaph.
4. I Cannot Dive
I enjoy swimming and consider myself to be a decent swimmer. Sure, Michael Phelps doesn’t lose sleep over me but seriously — who does he lose sleep over? But one thing I cannot do is dive. Mine tend to be more belly flop. I get how to dive in theory but when I try to do one, I sort just flop into the water. And don’t even expect me to try to dive from a diving board. It’s just a bigger flop and lots of tears because I don’t like heights.
5. I Cannot Ride Roller Coasters
Remember, I don’t like heights? Well, when I had just turned 14, my Church youth group went to Valley Fair (similar to Six Flags) and everyone pressured me to ride the very basic and tame roller coaster. Not the fancy ones with all the big loop-to-loops or that went upside down. This one was basic. Super, super basic. So after much teasing, I did it. I buried my head in my poor cousin’s armpit and wrapped both legs around one of her legs and gushed tears and snot all over her during the scariest 2-3 minutes of my young life. No one asked me to ride the roller coaster again. Ever.
6. I Cannot Not Pet a Cat
Sure, it’s a double negative but my blog. And it’s also true. I see a cat, I must pet it. You can tell me not to pet the cat. That your cat is mean and will hiss. Or bite. And scratch. To which I reply, “Challenge accepted!” And I will hunker down and attempt to make your cat love me because I believe all cats love me. I bear scars that suggest differently but I wear them with pride. And yes, I have successfully petted all cats, even when they really, really didn’t want me to pet them and let me know in the most loving and painful way possible that no means no, especially to a feline.
Okay, I told you mine, now you tell me what you cannot do well. Or at all.